


In Which Cronus Is A Closet Fan

by CaptorvatedMotherfucker



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Jimmy Buffet, This was an idea that refused to leave me until I wrote it, also vaguely implied crotuna, but only like one sentence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 04:32:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptorvatedMotherfucker/pseuds/CaptorvatedMotherfucker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there was such a thing as a forbidden love of a certain type of music, you'd be the poster child for such a condition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Cronus Is A Closet Fan

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first work posted on this site. The idea came to me in the form of a headcanon that is now, like, the best stupid idea I've come up with. Also, Jimmy Buffett is the coolest guy in existence. All of this was written on a fucking 3DS. You don't know true pain until you've experienced this. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

If there was such a thing as a forbidden love of a certain type of music, you'd be the poster child for such a condition. You were a cool guy and all (Of course, never as cool as the Striders. You could never hope to compare), and you were into a multitude of things, mainly chicks and the 50s. However, nothing about you could even hint at your obsess-- interest in this individual's music. It honestly embarrassed you, and made you feel a little shameful. You could never tell anyone about it, no. You had a reputation to uphold. Yet, in your heart of hearts, you could never, ever, deny it. The acoustics, the voice... It was absolutely fucking beautiful, and nothing could change it.   
Your name is Cronus Ampora, and you are head-over-heels in love with Jimmy Buffett.   
He was the reason why you stopped sharing your headphones with Meenah on those unbearable bus rides to school. She'd never let you live it down if she found out. His addictive music was nothing like what you traditionally listened to. it wasn't even 50s based! It would definately cramp your style.   
One could easily imagine how horribly excited you were when you found out the beach god himself was coming to your town for a concert. It was both a blessing and a curse, and you swear you were ready to convert to Kurloz's wacky, fucked-up religion just to praise those messiahs he often "spoke" of. Of course, no one did imagine your excitement, because no one knew. No one needed to know, either. You tried your best to keep your excitement contained, and discreetly bought tickets. You were not missing this for the world.   
No matter how hard you tried to contain your excitement, however, people still noticed. Even Mituna noticed, and you could tell him that he was about to fall on his ass and still be surprised when it happens.   
"You fin-ally got laid? Who even felt bad enough for that to even happen?" He asked you, stumbling over his words as usual. He snickered at you, but you were unable to do anything, since his "guard dog" was nearby. Motherfucker had a height advantage, and he was scary as hell. You didn't want to be on the recieving end of his wrath. You instead pointed out his use of a fish pun, and wished him a good day as you walked away. He yelled after you, telling you exactly what you should do to yourself, but you didn't pay it any mind, instead focusing on how annoyingly endearing his lisp was.   
After what seemed like an eternity, the day finally came when you got to see that wonderful bastard in the flesh. You were so giddy, you wanted to punch yourself in the face. You had backed out of party arangements under the claim of wanting a weekend to yourself (This brought forth a slew of masturbation jokes). You left the house at around 5, after giving your brother the typical "No parties, don't answer the door, dont answer the phone" speech. You didn't dare tell him why you were goinng out, or where you were going, you just told him you'd be out for a long time.   
Once you made it there, you lost any incentive to be cautious, and allowed yourself to get lost in the music, even belting out a few of the songs. You were having the time of your life. That is, until a dreadfully familiar voice reached your eardrums.   
"Whale, whale, whale," Your best friend, Meenah, said. "If it isn't Crodork."   
All of the color drained from your face as you turned to face her. She had a knowing smirk on her face, and her arms were crossed over a slightly tattered Jimmy Buffett t-shirt. You composed yourself, and tried playing it off casually.   
"Hey, dollface. What're you doing here?"   
"I'm enjoying some music," Was her response. "Water 'bout you? Water you doing here? Surely not for the... halibut!"   
You refrained from rolling your eyes at her fish puns.   
"W-well, I--"   
"Clam it, fishdick. No excuses. You came here for him, didn't you?" She asked, jerking her thumb toward the stage. You could feel her amused gaze on you as you hung your head.   
"Yeah, but don't go glubbing to anyone about it, alright?"   
Her face brightened a little at your use of "glub", and there was a mischevious glint in her eyes which you did not like.   
"Everyfish," Meenah said after a while. "Everyfish shall know by Monday."   
And that was how you lost your reputation. But first, you and Meenah were having best frond time at Jimmy Buffett's concert.


End file.
